buffalo river traveling

February 15, 2022

On my last trip to the Buffalo River, I sat in this exact spot and looked at the bank on the other side — the river too deep to cross. I altered my plans and finished my trip. Last September. I remember so clearly sitting there. I can feel the sunshine, the tick bites, the cool water flowing. I sat here feeling a little lost and a little lonely. My life felt like it was losing direction and I needed to find some changes to keep flowing. A talk with a couple of strangers eased my mind, but it also inspired me to look a little closer at how I was living my life.

A month or so later, I was on the road.

Now that I am back here reflecting, it seems like I’ve come full circle. But in reality, it’s just a continuation of that beginning.

I have been finding a lot of energy and inspiration from my traveling. Since I’ve been sleeping outside—in the cold—at night— I’ve had a lot of time with the stars. I’ve been learning the constellations and their stories. It makes my mind dance. A burst of creativity after a frosty night’s sleep. It’s a feeling.

I’ve been cooking my meals over a single propane burner and discovering that it’s just enough. Some days I just make a cup of tea or coffee and eat sandwiches, fruit, nuts, and greens. It’s easy. It’s easier to be content with less when that’s all you have. Or maybe that is just contentment. Ease in appreciating the small comforts so much more that you don’t find it hard to have a little less.

I’m responsible for what is in my car — nothing more. Detaching from every day luxuries — water, electricity, a bed to sleep in — the lessons from this. It’s easier now to look myself in the face. To feel grounded in all spaces. To feel confidence in the face of struggling.

To feel like I’ve gone into the deep end— and now I’m swimming.

This adventure to the Buffalo while my back has been healing has been such a reminder. A reminder of how I’ve been growing and discovering.